True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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