'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
