Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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