I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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