its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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