When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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