It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
