I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
