I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
