Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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