guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
