well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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