exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
