i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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