Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
