I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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