Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
