Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
