it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
