Yo dont text me then not text me
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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