You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
