I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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