dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
