Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
