so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize