We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
