Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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