I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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