I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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