he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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