just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
