i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
All the doctor said was why
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize