im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
