Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
