Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
