I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
