I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
