I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Drake has all the answers
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
