that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
