if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i dont even know how to be here
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
