I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
