Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
