It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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