How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
