I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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