I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
