She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
