And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
