do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
