He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Alive.
So much puke
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize