I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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