Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
