Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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