Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
