Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
