one might say we're banned from that church
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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