Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
