why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize