Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
