My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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