Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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