I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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