everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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