I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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