Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize