this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
