My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
