Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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