if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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