Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
