just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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