How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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