So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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