Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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